What they dont tell you about having a baby!

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Trust your gut instinct. Wonder weeks… No one told me about the wonder weeks. Being mentally exhausted will become the norm in those first few weeks! They are all different and hit milestones in their own time. Breastfeeding, although natural, hurts so much. You are learning how to parent, just as they are learning. Take what information you need from those trying to help but mix and match it to find what works for you and bub, as every mum and child is different. How different life is with your partner afterwards.


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It will get better, just remember to take time when you can to hug your partner or give them a kiss. Trust your gut. Mummy instinct is a powerful thing. I mean, of course, we would because of the whole irrational, biological imperative to make minions of ourselves and our spouses. There is so much that nobody tells you about being a parent! There is so much shit that we don't dare share with one another either out of own sneaking suspicion that we are the worst parents ever or, let's face it, because it's so gross and hard and ridiculous, who would believe us anyway?!

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Certainly not a woman whose biological clock is ticking so loudly that she can scarcely hear anything above it. Whatever you think you are planning, something else is most likely going to happen. Trust your OB or your midwife. Trust your body.

Things They Don't Tell You After You Have a Baby

Instead, start reading books on how to actually take care of your baby because you won't have the time or energy to do so once they are here. I try to tell this to all women who are about to become moms. I don't do it to be mean or to scare but to let them know that when it happens that it is normal. I also quickly reassure them that they have not, of course, ruined their lives and that it very quickly gets much, much better. Having that first baby is like hitting a brick wall.

Luckily, Mother Nature makes them so freaking cute and floods our brains with oxytocin so that we soon fall in madly in love with our babies and we are willing to do whatever it takes to keep this tiny creature alive. This is actually a completely common and normal phenomenon. Want to know what my first thought was when I saw my first son for the first time? I've given birth to a little Mexican. However, when the nurses first showed me that furry, red-faced creature with a shock of black hair, my brain could not comprehend that baby had come out of my body.

It is real and I personally believe that all new moms have one or both to some degree. Your body and your life are turned upside down and, of course, there is going to be some fall out. If you are struggling with either, know that you are not alone. I personally had postpartum anxiety after all three of my children were born. I survived and so did they. I reached out to my OB and my therapist and my girlfriends and I strongly advise you to do the same. From the time they can climb up your legs and into your lap until around second grade, they will want to be in your lap or in close physical proximity at all times.


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And it hurts. They aren't gentle. They are rough.

1. You will have a really heavy period.

They will scale your bare legs like Everest leaving a trail of bruises and scrapes in their wake. They will punch you in the face. Sometimes this will be an accident and sometimes they will be overtaken by their own excitement and do it on purpose You will be snuggling sweetly in bed and before you know it, you will be in a WWE wrestling match and your toddler will throw himself at your face and accidentally shove the entire length of his thumb up your nostril giving you the first and only nosebleed of your life.

If you are lucky. You will be playing joyfully with plastic tubes and pretending they are trumpets when your four year old will suddenly give you a roundhouse kick to the face causing the plastic tube to cut your lip in two places and chip one of your front teeth.

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If anyone really knew the amount of vile, bodily fluids that parenting involved, the human race might come to an end. Your children will sneeze massive gobs of mucous in your face, in your car and in your hair. Your infants will spit up on you so many times that you will become nose blind to the stench of sour milk emanating from your clothes and you will wear stained clothes out of the house because they are "not that bad. You will be taking a happy family bath with your newborn and your husband only to see your husband leap out of the tub in horror when you both realize what that green cloud is that is slowly creeping towards the surface.

You will have vomit sprayed down your back as you try to comfort your sick child.

POSTPARTUM RECOVERY: WHAT THEY DON'T TELL YOU - Natalie Renner

You will have poo explode straight into your face as you carefully try to remove what you know is a diarrhea filled diaper. You will be peed on by your newborn son more times that you can count and your entire kitchen and dining area will be covered in a layer of food that never seems to completely come off. Or, hell, maybe US Weekly. But now, most of your thoughts and conversations will revolve around bodily fluids. Did the baby poop or pee? How much? Where did said poop and pee go? Did she barf? Where did the barf go? That one is easy: down your shirt or in your hair!

How about you? Is there enough milk coming out of your nipples? Sometimes, blood comes from your nipples too, as a sort of bonus fluid — yay!

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Will you one day pee again like a normal person or, alternatively, not live in fear of pooping? Fluids — sooo many fluids. The world turns upside down — people edition. Your relationships can get a bit screwed up. Your spouse can fill you with fury by doing just about anything, even something as simple as leaving the house unencumbered. No one told you about any of these feelings — are they really OK?



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