This Thing That We Do

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Or a dance. Or a drink. We see it happen to our friends. We see it happen in so many scenarios and instances that it becomes the norm. And we really don't think anything of it. Until that one time that came close to being a dangerous situation. Until we hear that the "friend" who cornered us was accused of rape a day later. Until our boss makes good on his promise to kiss us on New Years Eve when he catches us alone in the kitchen.

Those times stick out. They're the ones we may tell your friends, our boyfriends, our husbands about.

First thing we do, let’s kill all the experts

But all the other times? All the times we felt uneasy or nervous but nothing more happened? Those times we just go about our business and don't think twice about. It's feeling shame and regret the we didn't call that guy out, the one who seemed intimidating but in hindsight was probably harmless. It's taking our phone out, finger poised over the "Call" button when we're walking alone at night. It's walking through the parking lot of a big box store and politely saying Hello when a guy passing us says Hi. It's pretending not to hear as he berates us for not stopping to talk further.

You too good to talk to me? You got a problem? It's not telling our friends or our parents or our husbands because it's just a matter of fact, a part of our lives. It's the stories our friends tell us through heartbreaking tears of that time they were abused, assaulted or raped. It's realizing that the dangers we perceive every time we have to choose to confront these situations aren't in our imagination.

First thing we do, let’s kill all the experts | Ars Technica

Because we know too many women who have been abused, assaulted or raped. Maybe I'm starting to realize that just shrugging it off and not making a big deal about it is not going to help anyone. It occurred to me recently that a lot of guys may be unaware of this. They have heard of things that happened, they have probably at times seen it and stepped in to stop it. But they likely have no idea how often it happens. That it colors much of what we say or do and how we do it. Maybe we need to explain it better. Maybe we need to stop ignoring it ourselves, minimizing it in our own minds. The guys that shrug off or tune out when a woman talks about sexism in our culture?

They're not bad guys. They just haven't lived our reality. And we don't really talk about the everyday stuff that we witness and experience. So how could they know? So, maybe the good men in our lives have no idea that we deal with this stuff on a regular basis. Maybe it is so much our norm that it didn't occur to us that we would have to tell them. It occurred to me that they don't know the scope of it and they don't always understand that this is our reality. So, yeah, when I get fired up about a comment someone makes about a girl's tight dress, they don't always get it.

When I get worked up over the every day sexism I'm seeing and witnessing and watching Maybe I'm realizing that men can't be expected to understand how pervasive everyday sexism is if we don't start telling them and pointing to it when it happens. Maybe I'm starting to realize that men have no idea that even walking into a store women have to be on guard. We have to be aware, subconsciously, of our surroundings and any perceived threats. We are acutely aware of our vulnerability. Aware that if he wanted to, that guy in the Home Depot parking lot could overpower us and do whatever he wants. We are sexualized before we even understand what that means.

We develop into women while our minds are still innocent. We get stares and comments before we can even drive. From adult men. We feel uncomfortable but don't know what to do, so we go about our lives. We learn at an early age, that to confront every situation that makes us squirm is to possibly put ourselves in danger. We are aware that we are the smaller, physically weaker sex. That boys and men are capable of overpowering us if they choose to.

This is really a great movie, no question. I rarely watch a film that is so skilfully crafted and yet is completely inoffensive to any segment of society.


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The movie combines comedy and some parts are definitely funny with romance in a tender-hearted tale of friendship and growing up. I simply cannot recommend this movie highly enough except to say that this is a film I could watch multiple times. Brilliantly acted by a still maturing cast ensemble, witty dialogue, it's got it all. If you want to see something that with touch you and give you a buzz but you don't want to be assailed by profanity, violence, or sexuality - That Thing You Do!

Broadway - Same Thing We Do Everyday Pinky

Another Hanks triumph, not just for his role in the movie but for putting it all together. Explore popular and recently added TV series available to stream now with Prime Video. Start your free trial. Find showtimes, watch trailers, browse photos, track your Watchlist and rate your favorite movies and TV shows on your phone or tablet!

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A history of mistrust

A local Pennsylvania band scores a one hit wonder in and rides the star-making machinery as long as they can, with lots of help from its manager. Director: Tom Hanks. Writer: Tom Hanks.



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