And that should bring you some form of peace, knowing that anything else that's thrown your way will be nothing compared to what you went through with the loss of your loved one. Dealing with the death of my father changed me forever, and the second I accepted that was the second I found the strength to live the life I had always dreamed of.
Don't ever be ashamed of your past, don't ever forget that it's what makes you beautiful, and don't ever give up. A year ago I was in my bed at 2 o'clock on an afternoon weekday staring at the ceiling for hours with a half-finished bottle of vodka in my right hand. All I could do was cry, and all I wanted was a drink to mask the pain.
Alcohol or drugs -- they make you temporarily numb to the pain you're feeling, but spending your time masking the pain is only pushing back the healing process. When you're grieving, it feels like nothing else is happening in the world, and all you seem to do is focus on the negativity that's happening around you. You forget that the world is filled with beautiful, positive, inspiring things because you're in your own immediate environment, which at the moment kinda sucks. Traveling helped heal me -- actually, it saved my life.
It opened up my eyes, expanded my perspective and inspired me to continue to fight to find happiness Read: "10 Ways Travel Changed My Life Forever". Getting out of your immediate environment to experience a new place reminds you that life is worth living -- that the world is worth exploring.
MORE IN LIFE
Losing a loved one is a painful reminder that life is way. And that loved one would want nothing more than for you to be happy -- not the watered-down, half smile, day-to-day getting by content happy, but truly happy. People used to tell me, "Keep yourself busy. I went to a job every single day to keep myself busy, but it only made me more miserable. It didn't make the time go by faster -- it made each day seem more and more meaningless.
Keep yourself busy by taking the time to figure out what it is that you love. Set goals and build a plan to make your dreams become a reality.
Beautiful Lessons I Learned From Heartbreak
Is this not the perfect time for you to live with purpose? To motivate yourself, embrace your newfound strength and take a chance to wake up every morning grateful? What makes you happy? Focusing your energy to go after a dream is a positive way to give back to yourself, for yourself. There was a time when I couldn't focus on anything other than the sight of my father in the hospital bed.
I closed my eyes at night and I didn't see his smiling, loving demeanor, or hear him laughing at his mostly corny jokes - all I saw was him in the hospital bed right before his last moments. It broke my heart every single day, so I tried to forget. I was so wrapped up in the idea of his death that I didn't give myself a chance to celebrate his life.
I couldn't even cherish the memories we had during his time in the world because I filled my mind with every facet of his death. How selfish was I to overlook 24 full years of his life and push all of those wonderful memories away for two measly hours? I realized that my father will never truly be gone. He is still here with me in spirit. Yeah, yeah, but what does that even mean?
My father taught me how to love selflessly -- he sacrificed his life for our family, and he will live on through me.
10 Business Leadership Lessons Learned From Love and Marriage
His legacy will continue through my work, and because of him I will know how to love my family selflessly -- the way he loved us. He was and always will be my motivation to fight through struggles, work hard, act without fear, smile through the pain, to dream bigger and make those dreams come true. Celebrate their lives; don't focus on their death. Cherish the memories, continue their legacies.
They're never truly gone -- they are always here with us in spirit. And be grateful for the opportunity to learn from and experience life with them. There's no magical, invisible wall clock that's ticking, pressuring you to get over and "deal with" your loved one's passing. There's no one telling you that you need to fly past the "angry" or "confused" stage by next week, month or even year. You're allowed to take as much time as you need to heal.
Don't think that you have to get back to "normal" -- that will never happen, and it's a damn good thing. The pain you feel when you miss them is never going to go away, but that's okay.
Lesson Quotes - BrainyQuote
Because you're stronger than you have ever been in your life, and you're capable of doing things that you were never capable of doing before. You are not expected to be perfect. Your struggles build your character. Your experiences make you unique. You are intricate, complicated, seasoned and beautiful. Don't ever be ashamed of your past. Just remember that the decision to start the healing process is entirely up to you. So when you're ready, get out there and take a chance on yourself to find peace past the pain. This was originally published on GreaseandGlamour.
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Fill 8 Copy 2 Created with Sketch. Everybody's not good at everything. It's okay to depend on someone. It's actually what we're supposed to do, we're supposed to depend on each other. And when you find the person that you trust and you love and you feel is going to respect you and take all of the sh-t you have and turn it around and bring out the best in you, it feeds you.
It is the most powerful thing you can ever feel in your life.
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During an interview with Anderson Cooper a few years ago, a then-new mommy Bey opened up about her love for motherhood and how it has added to her as a mother and overall being. As a public figure, it's so important that at the end of the day, leaving an impression on her daughter means more to Beyonce than being impressive as a celeb.
Not that she has to try too hard anyway. This definitely gets filed under "The Power of Prioritizing," too. Family first! Although Bey has certainly learned to live a life of balance, which is evident from her Tumblr page of various family vacations and the fact that Blue probably has more stamps in her passport at 3 than any of us will ever have in a lifetime , it hasn't been easy being "Bey. Including a life of privacy- which she forfeited for fame. During her Mrs. Carter world tour, Beyonce gave an epic introduction to her "Naughty Girl," track, and it went a little something like this:.
As a woman who has racked up a whopping total awards in her lifetime, Beyonce is in no way, shape, or form anything less than half woman, half amazing.
And of course that doesn't come without a bit of sacrifice:. After nearly 20 years in the industry, there are a few things that Beyonce has said about independence and having your own, as taught by none other than, "Mama" Tina Knowles:. Along with our personal favorite, which she once told to Oprah shortly after her marriage to hubby Jay-Z in "Make sure you have your own life before becoming someone else's wife!
Beyonce knows a thing or two about pain, conflict and having fear, but she also knows a thing or two about healing and having faith. In her '"Yours and Mine" mini documentary which Bey filmed in honor of the one year anniversary of her self-entitled album, she went on to say:. Beauty is deeper than skin deep and if there is one person who knows that, it is the woman who created the tracks "Flawless" and "Flaws and All," - beautifully ironic, right?
Looking back, I’m grateful for the pain of being dumped
Ever the self-proclaimed feminist, Beyonce has once gone on record in her songs and interviews, not only praising the beauty of women everywhere, but embracing their strengths too:. We have to step up as women and take the lead. Simply said: You win some, you lose some but in the end, only the blessed get to live another day. And another day, means new opportunities. If at first you don't succeed, simply dust yourself off an try again!
A modest goddess who keeps it humble between mumbles. I'm a journalism graduate with a HERstory in digital media, print and radio. Deemed "Top 20 Women in Media" by Power Bronx made me, Broward raised me. I already know I'm about to step onto some toes with what I'm about to say, but feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section because I'd honestly like to hear your thoughts.