Should I Be A Stay At Home Mom

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A compilation of studies provided by the National Home Education Research Institute shows a number of statistics that support the importance of a parent at home for educational reasons. For example, research has found homeschoolers generally score 15 to 30 percentile points above public school students on standardized tests and they're achieving above average scores on the ACT and SAT tests.

Whether you're an at-home parent homeschooling your child or you're simply there when she gets off the bus after school, more studies are finding a parent at home is giving children an academic edge over their peers without a parent at home. Regardless of whether you stay home or work, the National Education Association's research has proven that parent involvement in schools makes a difference in a child's academic performance and how long she actually stays in school. Good news for stay-at-home moms knee-deep in diapers and temper tantrums.

6 Things To Know About Becoming A Stay-At-Home Mom

Two studies state you being home with your children during those early stages is better for your kids than them being in childcare full-time. The studies from the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development and the Institute of Child Development of the University of Minnesota found that children who spend a large amount of their day in daycare experienced higher stress levels and aggression as opposed to those who stayed home.

Follow-up research seven years after the original study confirmed those findings still held true. That doesn't mean you have to keep your children locked in your house until they're ready to go to school. There are many childcare options SAHMs can use to get a break without committing to a daycare.

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Look for a Mom's Day Out or babysitting co-op to let your kids play with others while giving you some much-needed time alone. If you've ever toyed with the idea of going back to work, you're not alone. Research firm Reach Advisors conducted a study that found 57 percent of moms think about going back to work someday.

If you're thinking about going back to work too, you can take some steps now to prepare. You can cover your employment gap , take classes that can help any woman get ahead in the working world, earn one of these licenses or certificates that can enhance your resume or accept one of the best part-time jobs for stay-at-home moms. Then there are those moms who want to earn money but can't imagine re-joining the rat race for a typical job.

There are plenty of at-home business opportunities moms can start as well as work-at-home jobs that let women stay home and make money too. A recent Gallup poll revealed more stay-at-home moms report experiencing sadness or anger in their day than moms who work outside of the home. Of the 60, women surveyed, the poll included women with no children, working moms and stay-at-home moms who are or who are not looking for work "to distinguish between those who may not be employed because of circumstance rather than by choice. It's important to note that, while the numbers for stay-at-home moms do support Gallup's results, the difference in most of the percentages isn't a huge gap.

For example, the number of stay-at-home moms who feel they're struggling is 42 percent, compared to 36 percent of working moms. And the number of stay-at-home moms who smiled or laughed a lot the previous day was 81 percent, compared to 86 percent of working moms. A majority of SAHMs, 50 percent to be exact, reported stress in their previous day and 26 percent reported sadness.

Every stay-at-home mom must establish a support network, including regular outings with your mom friends to get a much-needed break and prevent mommy burnout. A recent study found that moms are spending too much time with their kids. The Mommy Wars pressures make stay-at-home moms feel like they're not a worthy member of society while making working moms feel like they're not spending enough time with their children.

While the study above says moms are spending too much time with their kids with no scientifically proven difference in their outcomes, a Highland Spring study of 10, families revealed parents are only spending 34 uninterrupted minutes a day with their children because of the stresses of daily life. That's why it's important for moms to find the right balance in their marriage and daily lives.

There's nothing wrong with making the most of your family time, including creating gadget-free zones and making sure your kids can't accuse you of being distracted. But you also need to take care of your own emotional well-being and let your children spend some time away from you. A whopping 60 percent of Americans say a child is better off with at least one parent at home, according to Pew Research Center's Social and Demographic Trends.

Another 35 percent said kids are just as well off with both parents working outside the home. Whether you work or stay home, stop feeling like you're failing as a parent. Societal pressures make moms feel like they can't win if they're carrying a diaper bag all day and they can't win if they're carrying a briefcase all day either.

When it comes down to it, research is research and only what's best for you and your family matters. It's true not everyone has the luxury of choosing between staying home or working but research can't tell you exactly what's going on in your family. Make a decision that's right for you and don't worry about what strangers, your neighbor or your mother-in-law think. Get diet and wellness tips to help your kids stay healthy and happy. There was an error.

Please try again. Perhaps he conveniently forgets that it was a mutual decision, and he may even insist that he never wanted her to quit and that it was entirely her decision.

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Eventually, the marriage comes apart. Amy now faces life as a jobless single mother, and seeks alimony as well as child support. At this point, divorce attorneys enter the story.

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Indeed, divorcing SAHMs are often in for a distinct shock when they realize that family court judges, even female ones, are not necessarily sympathetic to their plight. Keep in mind that many female judges had their own children in day care while pursuing demanding legal careers and may not necessarily feel empathy for an educated, capable woman who deliberately gave up her earning potential.

How to make a life-changing decision

Johnson points out that even though many women may consider raising children a full-time job, the legal system does not. Family courts expect you to support yourself, and being a caretaker will not excuse you from that expectation.

5 Reasons I'm Going To Continue Being A SAHM Even After My Kids Are In School

Alimony reform. Many end up taking jobs ill-suited to their education and skill sets. Keep one foot in the door of the working world, she urges. Maintain your skills and contacts, do part time work, freelance work or whatever it takes to maintain contact with the adult, professional world. That depends on how she and John acknowledged and addressed the sacrifices she made in leaving her job years ago.

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In doing so, she gave up her salary and her peak earning years. She gave up colleagues, professional associations and memberships. She gave up all the momentum of an up-and-coming career. John, meanwhile, gave up none of this. In fact, he advanced up the corporate ladder quite a bit faster than he could have done without all the duties of home and family being handled seamlessly and competently by his wife. If Amy and John recognized these realities, and were still willing to take them on, a formal postnuptial agreement would have been wise and appropriate at that time.

Whatever path you decide is best for you and your family, one thing is certain: you need to protect your financial future.

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  • To my mind, a prenup or postnup is an absolute legal and financial necessity for any woman choosing to give up paid work and all its associated benefits, tangible and otherwise, to stay home with the children. For more to think about, see my earlier article about why you need a postnup, and other points to consider before leaving paid work to become a SAHM.