But for our purposes? I will never make you wonder if your philosophy is right or wrong. I am someone who you will hurt eventually. I am bigger than this. Say it out loud now. I believe in love and I deserve nothing less than love. I want someone who is courageous and thoughtful, like I am.
I want someone who knows how broken this world is, like I do. I want someone who recognizes how twisted and confused our culture is, and who dares to live outside of the bad trends and deeply idiotic reigning dictates of that culture. I want someone who can see me clearly, because I know myself. I am wild and brave and brilliant and I will not settle for less than someone who knows their own raw power and potential the way I do.
I am scared and sad and broken and I will not settle for less than someone who can stand to recognize how scared and sad and broken they are.
The real rules about old and young you can date
We are just animals clinging to our short lives on this sad, doomed planet. You know that and I know that, Seriously Angry. We need to be honest and clear and true and loyal to the other people who know that. God bless them. Let them live however they want to live. We want to live among the urgent and the courageous. We want to be deeply loved by those who believe in love. We will not settle for less because settling for less would mean feeling less. We want to feel everything. Once you start asking for exactly what you want, you will be a bit much, too.
It keeps the wrong people out of your way. They start to look like a fly on the wall, a bit of lint in the butter. And guess what? You get exactly what you want. You might not be ready for true love, though. Even more, from that "Like" you will be able to start establishing your preferences and finding your true "Match". Wondering how: When you like each other, MoreDates will give you the possibility to start a Chat. You will see, how your search for the ideal "Match" will be successful and bring you to the one. Straightforward as it sounds: When someone gives a "Like" to your profile, you will be notified about it right away by email.
How to find lifetime love: 10 secrets from couples married for decades
After this, it is up to you, from when and how to what you will do together! The Chat is your private place, where you can get to know your ideal "Match" and talk about all those dreams and plan perfect dates. Do you want to know which hobbies your "Match" has? Maybe you like the same local places, and you have not been able to meet so far. What about your preferences? In the Chat you can get to know about all those sincere expectations and deep inside emotions, even about those things that are not so easy to ask in a face to face conversation. When you have been able to know each other through the uncomplicated Chat and you decide that you really want to meet, go on a date and enjoy it!
With all the dating apps that are out there, you are not so sure what you will get, MoreDates offers you a private and nice space where you can find the one without pressure and complications. Make your profile, upload pictures and start chatting to find your other half. Get lucky and you will meet the one after the first contact has been established! MoreDates is the right dating app, with many free functions. You will be able to experience all the fantastic benefits of a mobile Dating-App, which also offers you thousands of worldwide members reachable within seconds from the commodity of your phone!
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But they're all the same! Because ALL of them are rude, hostile, or ignoring. And all she wants is to find a man who can have a normal conversation for Christ's sake. Or perhaps even gasp! Haven't you heard the saying, "A beautiful woman is always unlucky in love while the fat ugly women get married.
Thanks for sharing. Purplegirl Send a private message. Motionman : Good evening, l just wanted to tell you to date outside your race!!! You will whom you seek eventually. Pebbles Send a private message. Stacey : Hey Stacey am glad i came across your comment.
Am 26 and i know am still very young but i just enjoy being alone. Havivng so many young people my age getting marriage and having kids , for some reason it doesnt seem to hit a nerve of some sort. I often wonder if i were to get married and have kids i would be doing it for my parents. I just feel so comfortable with me Sam Send a private message. I work too much and I will NOT compromise on quality to just get divorced.
Lcg Send a private message. I am in my early 40's and never been close to being married but, desire to be. Your post gives me hope!!!! Edited on December 31, at UTC by the author. Motionman : Dont lose hope! Anything is possible! Also I agree with purplegirl Be open date outside your race. Stacey : Couldn't agree more with your comments and let's not forget happiness is an inside job so if you love yourself and are happy.
I do believe in love also but I'm not out there searching I'm not a fan of internet dating at all. I find they are just hook ups and disasters. Plus I'm old fashioned I like the stories and randkm spot you meet and all that you know what people used to do before the internet. Lol I saw this article and I used to think there was something wrong with me but then i realized it's cause i never settled for the wrong guy and who wants to almost get married.
I do have a beautiful teenage daughter her father and I were never engaged. I wasn't in love with him but I was having her regardless. I didn't date for years cause i didn't want her to grow up like did watch both parents marry multiple times. When I did start to date I fell for the wrong ones and now im falling in love with me.
I too put myself in the best shape I have ever been and I had a man tell me recently I look more beautiful now than in my 20'S So heres to all the hot single women in their 40'S. I also refuse to do online dating it never worked out well for me years ago. I know not much has changed when your gf sends you a profile of a buddy or a guy that has always been on there. No thanks. Motionman : Damn, I would date you. Blessed Send a private message.
Has an 18 year old daughter and has never been married. I know in her past she has dated a descent amount of guys but never committed. I never understood her reasoning until tonight. Even though she expressed a lot of the same issues as you have. I say issues as a good thing. I am 38 and now divorced with two kids after a 20 year marriage. And she has stood by my side through all my ups and downs over the last year.
I never understood why she wanted to be with a broken person like me. She tells me I am the man she has prayed for all of her life. And she never wanted to settle for anything less. Now I get it. I truly have never know a love like hers ever in my life. She is truly the woman I have prayed about and dreamed of all my life. I hate to say it. But sometimes you just need to see it said from someone like her. Because society has made it so. So please whoever hopes that there may someday be a man or woman out there that could love you unconditionally.
I am here to say I was that man who found my soon to be 42 year old dream. And I never want to part from her! So again thank you for your comment. Good luck and God bless all of you! Christoph Send a private message. Aperson Send a private message. One day I hope to marry. Edited on July 9, at UTC by the author. I shouldn't have gotten married.
Now, I'm at the brink of divorce. I can totally relate. I have been in love twice and both had issues that were not acceptable for marriage material. I've always dreamed of meeting my match and getting married. I am now 45 and still have not married. I know what I want and don't want. Mutual respect is a Big deal to me and is very difficult to find these days.
There are so many components to a romantic relationship. I've pretty much given up on dating all together and started focusing on different things. It's been over a year since my last date and I'm okay with that. I figure if it's supposed to happen it will. Stugots Send a private message. AAKK : Very true. BerryCherry : Bull. The super-hot women I have known are almost all self absorbed and completly devoid of personality. Sass Send a private message. I mean half of marriages end in divorce and a lot more are miserable, abusive, adulterous, etc, but we criticize the people who know enough to say it's not for me and I'm not get married?
Rather than the ones who are equally selfish but married anyway and dragged their exes and children through cheating, nasty divorces and general misery? The day married people in the U. Until then, work on your own relationships and leave us to ours. Edited on July 31, at UTC by the author. Finn Send a private message. This reply is hidden because of its low rating. Click here to show. Sass : Wow! Spoken like a truly bitter, and equal parts lonesome and loathsome woman. May I ask how you even happened across such an article?
Obviously you're bothered by your situational misery otherwise you wouldn't be googling "single woman over 40" articles. Let me guess, you dropped about 25k having your eggs frozen ten years ago, and now no one wants to partake in your creepy chemistry experiment. Enjoy your "me" time. It's clearly serving you well.
Jalmanza Send a private message. Finn : Finn is clearly an insecure little pencil peepee. Don't place any stock in his drivel. Momof3 Send a private message. Sass : Thank You for saying exactly what I was thinking. Well said! Finn : Wow really? There are plenty of ways this site can turn up in google results. I googled statistics about divorce and this page came up.
Sounds like you have your mind made up and know it all. Good luck with life. Finn : See beauty in everyone and allow them to express their opinion without name calling! It would rather be nice to hear your thoughts on this topic instead of judging people you ve never even met! Just saying Kem Send a private message. Historically, men have chosen to see women as the slaves of the species.
The woman is the one who has to take care of the children run the household and now thanks to women's liberation also work. I didn't even begin thinking about wanting a serious relationship until I was 35 but boy oh boy was I in for a surprise.. Now 42, I don't want to be someone's slave and don't want a child of mine to have a terrible or absentee father.
I want to be equal and I want to be able to have my needs met and meet someone else's essential needs. That is hard to come by.. If I am working and you're working, then we're both providing financially. What I would need is someone to provide my emotional needs and be a good friend and companion. However, I have found in my dating that most men are trying to offer me things I don't need and also trying to tell me what I need to be doing.
The other thing I encounter is men who are want something with out giving anything in return. I'll keep on travelling the world and enjoying my life and maybe one day they'll be someone with whom we both find each other compatible. Kem : Women as slaves? Look at everything built and maintained around you. Look who goes off to war We are a sexually dimorphic species.
Edited on February 5, at UTC by the author. Anonymous : Yes slaves. I went off to war, and while there assisted in building infrastructure. I worked full time and I had an ass of a husband who still expected me to take care of bills and the home. Appreciation my ass. Seriously, what century do you live in? If I were still with him, I would have nothing and still be cooking dinner every night, taking care of his snot-nosed kids, when I wasn't in Iraq.
Nickkkk Send a private message. You sound really negative and bitter. Nickkkk : She also sounds like a dike. Kem : Wow! Let me guess, you dropped about 25k having your eggs frozen ten years ago, and no one wants to partake in your creepy chemistry experiment. Finn : Finn sounds like a latent homosexual who is angry at the world because he's too scared to acknowledge his true identity, so he deflects and projects onto women.
Nuts79 Send a private message. Kem : Yes I totally agree. I'm 43 now and still "looking" but having had several options and offers over recent years and months, I don't see the point in being with someone I don't fancy, or someone who is going to push me around etc.! Being married and trapped with the wrong guy is my idea of hell-on-earth, and I've had several female friends and males for that matter in unhappy relationships or marriages - what is the point in this?
There are times I get lonely and hate being single, but if the alternative is endless misery with someone I just "settled with", give me my freedom over that ANY DAY. Lobosskru Send a private message. Jalmanza : Haha! He's an in-the-closet, hypocritical, sensitive, fragile fraction of a man. One word for ya FINN! Who cares! Go back to your espresso shots and bean sprout sandwiches in your Sunday sweater.
No older, established grown woman really gives a shit what you think Finn. I'm sure you're nothing to brag about I can't believe there are so many nasty comments, especially towards a female soldier. It really reconfirms to me people's attitudes are still pretty backwards. Lobosskru : I am 42 single myself and as I got older I noticed the men I dated started to change because the most abusive men not always but if you will notice alot of them will go for a young woman late teens, early 20s, they think they can treat them like dirt, ladies becareful!
Trinity Send a private message. Anonymous : I'm a Persian Gulf War veteran, so your point regarding who goes off to war is moot. Men and women may not be equal in a lot of ways, but let's face it, men have more dating options, and because of that, many aren't all that committed to putting their best foot forward, which is why we see a lot more women over 40 still single.
Don't worry, we'll wait Edited on August 30, at UTC by the author. This reply was removed by the author. Darrell Send a private message. Kem : I agree that it should be a shared responsibility and partnership. I don't totally agree with certain gender roles but of course I don't swing towards the house husband idea. If 2 people are working each person should do their part in an equal manner. I will continue to be happy and alone until I find a like minded person. It should be a partnership and shared. It is not the 50s and 60s but some people are still stuck there.
If you were with a lazy guy than he was just that, a lazy person and user. You find those in both genders. Those that want to lay around, do nothing and be taken care of. Blaine Send a private message. Susan Send a private message. Women basically have to be the ones who do most or all of the "compromising" in a marriage. Men typically don't because of not having to worry about pregnancy and being the primary caregivers at home there are exceptions to the latter, of course. Many of us out here do not want kids, and without that desire, don't see the point of giving up everything just to have a better standard of living.
Marriage isn't seen by many of us never-married women as a fair trade at all. Robertodelaplaya Send a private message. I have been married for 25 years, 4 great kids and now I am divorced by my wife who was having unhappiness in marriage. Life offers goodness in different forms and flavours.
We have preferences. I like the solidarity and predictability of a committed relationship. Committed relationships are fraught with problems. But that is my preference. Probably comes from my childhood instability. Who knows? This thread is too black or white for me.
It's too simplistic. We need to accept that variations in all relationship structures exist and variations exist in all people's expectations and desires for satisfactory personal relationships. TimbsNPearls Send a private message. Robertodelaplaya : Kudos for the well spoken words.
Sounds wise. Like one who has GIVEN as much as taken, and refrains from voicing disparaging views of women- at any age. An older woman that has never been married fits a "stereotype". That stereotype is that they are no good at or have no desire to have a committed relationship. Unlike another poster mentioned, I don't think it is a double standard between men and women. Women will look at an older never married men with cautious speculation as well. It has no bearing at all on reality. Many of us don't want to get married--ever. That is our decision. We don't judge married people and demand an explanation for why they did it.
The same respect should be accorded to single people. Tami Send a private message. I really Think that is stupid to Think there is something wrong With a woman If she hasnt married. For myself i have Been proposed to 3 Times but i was Not interested At The Time i was interested in becomming successful. Very important to me to be very good friends. Boy, can I relate to this! Honestly, in my experience, they are scared to commit, and frankly, are confused and don't no what they want. One common tactic is to wait for the "perfect" guy. Well, he doesn't exist. First date was 3. Had a great time, talked on the phone, etc.
She even initiated physical contact where I was starting to think that things were going well. Then, I got the just friends talk tonight… Why? She was crazy educated, beautiful, and really, really smart and together. But she had had a lot of relationships that never worked out, etc. Well, there is usually a reason. It's hard to not internalize this kind of thing, but you just can't. The only person you can control is you, and you have to believe in yourself.
But it's hard, especially then the signals are so strong. But, that's the way it goes. Unicorns don't exist. If it looks too good to be true, it is. And I am sure this is also the case for women with men. But it's very frustrating, and it can wear you out over time. MJxxxx Send a private message. That's what it sounds like to me From experience.. Outwardly, all the pieces as they relate to social expectation and vanity are perfectly in place. College educated in lucrative fields; slim, above average height, attractive, well dressed, funny, well read, many hobbies and creative past times, excellent with money, acquired assets, clean blah blah blah.
Here's the thing, aside from individual quirks that make us unique, my biggest fear in life was being trapped - by a career, debt, children or legally binding man. I grew up in an environment of such dire control, narcissism and micro management, that, despite wanting a long term partner, my emotional chemistry won't allow me to put both feet in. I was engaged once broke it off thank God It isn't fair to either party. Don't get me wrong, i love men and have a village of friends who help with the "male" tasks be it car repair or home maintenance but do hate being the 3rd wheel in groups, not being part of the conversation among partnered friends and wishing i had someone to vacation with.
For me, safest bottom line - being secure knowing my skills are vast and mutable; i can pick up my bag and leave any time a fear of control closes in. I mostly adore being alone and pursuing varied interests, knowing i won't come home to a slob, drained bank account or hopeless addict. I accept the loneliness that results. Perhaps but i don't know another way. With age, you will lose friends. Your body changes also. You will find in time as I did nothing beats having a solid person to share life with be it in marriage or in a LTR. With age women become invisible all too often. You don't end up with a bad guy unless you settle for that.
You're clearly smart enough to pick a solid winner.
I'd urge you to look for that now. Eventually the dating pool dries up for everyone due to age, competition, and location. Longevity favors women not men. At 62 all I find are widows, divorcees, and very lonely single women. Few of them are happy. You don't want to join them in 20 years.
Something I've noticed about women over 40 and never been married? - guyQ by AskMen
It is normal to have those fears after abuse I have the same fears.. I do get lonely and want love yes but that fear of abuse which makes one so so sick while in it totally stops me in my tracks It is not selfish to love and care for yourself.. What is selfish are the controlling people I think see if one is unable to love and care someone for who they are even with all fears and all well then that is truly selfish. Robert Send a private message. At age I got a girlfriend, or so I thought. When she dumped me, just over a year ago, she informed me we were just friends, for 4 years.
I'm 45 now, and have more issues than I can count. I did learn that I don't like being single. Before her, it didn't bother me as much. At 45, I've pretty much failed at life. Never went to college, and work in a dead end job, for the last 24 years. My retirement plan is "Freedom ". I get by. Success is a word I've heard, yet never experienced. Yet I'm still here.
A sucker for punishment, I guess. Everything that could go or be wrong with someone, that's me. Shy of being a drug addict, or an alcoholic. Women don't want broken men, I don't blame them. I do belive in monogamy, I don't belive in random, or multiple partners, or casual sex. I deplore cheating. I don't buy into the concept of faith. I don't understand "dating", in this day and age. It will almost be best just to give up and stay single, much to my misery. Esp Send a private message. I earned a worthless AA degree in a community college and work in a dead end job that I hate.
I have no friends anymore. No one talks to me. I found that sex with escorts makes life better. Why bother with a relationship that will not last and probably will not make me happy anyway? I have forced myself to accept my fate. No one wants me. Escorts want my money and I will meet one when I can afford it. The other option is to get a pet. My cat makes me happy too. Send a private message. I think women should stop putting a time line on love, especially when it is so fleeting; and definitely stop comparing their romantic timelines and ideals to others.
I think the longer a woman waits, the lesser quality man she can get. I've just seen it happen too many times with people I know. BlondeGirl Send a private message. I will be 54 in December and I have never been a relationship at all. No engagements, no near misses, nothing. I don't think I have the capacity to have a relationship.
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Men also don't tend to consider me more than a good friend. I have always been "one of the guys" but no connection beyond that. Apparently there is nothing about me that is interesting or attractive. However I don't feel that I have missed much except drama and bickering. BlondeGirl : And a couple thousand orgasms via intercourse. Finn : Wow, really Finn? You're actually unenlightened enough to believe that that pathetic little gherkin of yours is responsible for producing orgasms?
You probably also think that Sharon Stone is a great actress. BlondeGirl : My 41st birthday was last Tuesday. I am in the same boat with you. I am a man who has never been in a relationship. I also don't think I have the capacity to have a meaningful one. Women never found me attractive enough or interesting for more than a friend.
I have tried asking women out on a date very few times only to be turned down and ruining my limited friendships with women. I have been described as boring since junior high school. In my early 30's I thought I was handsome as family and friends would tell me so. My confidence is now completely gone and I only have two friends in my life. The only thing that keeps me sane is my cat.
RandallT Send a private message. BlondeGirl : It sounds like you have given up. One thing I have learned in my many years is that self confidence is attractive. Not conceit but confidence. Don't give up on finding the right person. Everyone's timeline is different. Perhaps you two picked the wrongs to be in a relationship with?? You only need the right one for marraige I toast that we find happiness before age Let's talk about the real reason why most of us wind up single when we want a relationship.
It usually boils down to attachment theory google it. There are 3 main styles: secure, anxious and avoidant. If you're not secure then you're either anxious or avoidant.
The latter two are insecure and often wind up together in toxic relationships. I fit the bill of an anxious type and have always been attracted to avoidant types which were wrong for me. Our insecure attachment styles form mainly in our childhood through trauma and ineffective parenting. However, we as adults can change these patterns through hard work and therapy and by attracting more secure partners.